It is my opinion, however negative it may sound, that sometimes love is just not enough. It does not matter how much you love someone or how much you want them to see your ways. You cannot change someone no matter how much you want to. Sometimes you fall in love with someone for reasons unknown and then as the months go by and the years roll in, you realize you are committed to someone who is so different from you and the way you were brought up that you don’t know what to do.
You come to realize that you have reached a completely different “level” and you are now traveling different paths. You know you do not want to walk away, but you also know how unhappy you are. Do you stay and make it work? Try for the kids? Try because you said “for better or for worse?” Yet, on the other hand, do you keep losing the essence of who you are? Do you stay in a relationship that is no longer fulfilling or satisfying and is detrimental to one’s health?
I am not promoting you walk away, split up, or get divorced. However, I do believe that it is more important to be happy and to maintain peace in your life and within your own mind. Keep in mind, I am not talking about “who leaves the toothpaste uncapped” or “the toilet seat up, or who does and doesn’t help with the chores around the house.” I am talking about deep-rooted differences in your very souls. It takes every ounce of energy to be in a relationship that is a constant battle.
Of course, I do believe you must try all of your options, for example, counseling, marriage therapy etc…
I am in no way promoting divorce. I had an amazing example at home. My parents were high school sweethearts who were married for 30 years, when my mother’s life was cut short by cancer.
However, I BELIEVE that ultimately our goal in life should be to be happy and to learn and grow from our experiences in life. Sometimes being truly happy with ourselves and at peace, makes us better partners, friends and/or parents.
Just because you walk away from a relationship that you have genuinely tried to work at, does not make you a failure. This can simply mean that this chapter in your life has closed and you must move on.
I also believe that now-a-days, relationships are even more difficult with so many people getting involved at much older ages. This only means that you are more set in your ways and that you and partner just bring more “baggage to the table,” making it that much harder to “blend” together.
Honestly, I do believe in love and that there is a special someone out there for everyone; with that being said, I also believe that there can be more than
one person that is right for you at different stages of your life.
Sure commitment and loyalty are important, but I repeat, when your well-being, happiness and peace of mind are no longer a priority, you must evaluate the relationship, no matter who is in the middle. You must truly be happy and fulfilled in a relationship in order to make it work. If you are not truly happy, how can you make someone happy or become a better human being? How can you contribute to this world if you continue pretending and just going through the motions?
You have to do what is right for YOU. Keep in mind, that as we grow as human-beings, not everyone can grow along with you. This is where the paths take different turns. I guess what I am ultimately trying to say, is do not consider yourself a failure because your relationship does not succeed.
True love lies within us and it is only through that love that we can grow and find someone who can join us on that level. I hope that you can work through your relationship and be on that same level to make it work. If it does not work out, know that you did give it your all, and you are still a wonderful and loving individual, no matter what!