Parkland, FL – February 14th – it is just a day on the calendar that symbolizes a day of love and friendship…but in 2018, that was forever changed here in my community, our community of Parkland and Coral Springs, FL. Valentine’s Day (2/14) will forever be associated with loss and heartache, especially for the 17 families, who lost their loved ones that fateful day of 2/14/18. Life appears “normal” on any given day but every February 14th (and even now, 7 years later,) people gather at the memorial on the corner of the school, which is still up, as families and survivors still bring flowers. Residents gather at local restaurants, some wearing their MSD t-shirts, hats, bracelets or small ribbons to honor the lives of the Parkland 17. The city still holds a memorial service at the local park. The media still calls us for random interviews about gun violence and reaction to every shooting thereafter. Some who left town, come in to pay their respects, those who cannot handle the memory leave town. Time passes, but the pain and the heartache is still there, especially for those directly affected.

I know it is no fun to speak of this on “Valentine’s Day,” and I have also heard some say, “let it go, it was so long ago, just move on already.”  But honestly, how do you think parents, siblings, friends, and survivors can move on after what they went through? It is not just simple grief. It was preventable and an unimaginable violent tragedy. No one wants to hear the gory details. It is how society copes, but if we don’t continue to talk about it, even after all these years, things will never change.

As a parent, I cannot begin to wrap my head around the immense loss.  As the years have passed, it feels like a lifetime ago and also, feels like it was just the other day. For the rest of this Country, who has evidently become numb to gun violence, it’s just another anniversary of a school shooting they hear about on the news (if at all,) but to this community, who lost their loved ones, friends, students, classmates, teachers, and neighbors, it is heart-wrenching each and EVERY year, on the anniversary.

And for the survivors, like our daughter and so many of her classmates, it forever changed them.

But in that same breath, Feb. 14th also brought change…a love of community and new friendships, it brought about a resolve in our young people to fight for their right to be safe in school, it brought bonding with strangers through trauma. It brought hope that we could somehow make a difference going forward. It brought the hope that somehow this would be the last time.

But somehow, here we are 7 years later, with more uncertainty than ever, with daily emotional rollercoasters in our lives and with a feeling in our gut that we don’t know what the future holds. Such is life I suppose…

Perhaps by writing and repeating the message over and over with different wording, year after year, we will come to understand that nothing matters more than love, health and safety for all of us, and especially our children!

As you read this on Feb. 14th or maybe days, weeks, months later, I wish you much love and happiness in your life and I leave you with some suggestions on how we can honor the lives lost in Parkland, Florida and beyond to gun violence, as well as ways we can try to make a difference, every day going forward: 

1. NEVER forget the lives lost on 2/14/18 and all the others because of gun violence. Keep their memory alive.

2.  No matter what is going on in the world around you, find a way to tell and show your loved ones how you feel.

3. Honor their lives and of those you loved and lost, by becoming the best version of yourself.

4. If you want to honor the lives of the victims from MSD, take the time to find out who the 17 victims were. Not just their names, but who they were as human beings and do something wonderful in their memory.

• Alyssa Alhadeff, 
• Scott Biegel, 
• Martin Duque, 
• Nicholas Dworet, 
• Aaron Feis, 
• Jaime Guttenberg, 
• Chris Hixon, 
• Luke Hoyer, 
• Cara Loughran, 
• Gina Montalto, 
• Joaquin Oliver, 
• Alaina Petty, 
• Meadow Pollack, 
• Helena Ramsay, 
• Alex Schachter, 
• Carmen Schentrup, 
• Peter Wang.

5. Promise yourself that no matter where you stand politically, you will always do what is BEST for the safety of our children and generations to come. 

6. Don’t just wait for February 14th to show your love and affection. A long life is promised to no one. And with everything we have all been through collectively, I think that is one of the most important lessons.

7. Plant a tree or a garden creation in honor (or memory) of someone you love

8. Engage in some kind of advocacy for the greater good.

9. Focus on doing what you love – whether that is storytelling, writing, dancing, running, crafting, biking, sports, yoga – whatever, it is, when we do what we love and bring joy into the world, we make the collective just a little bit better every day!

10. If you know of a teen or tween who is going through a rough time or having trouble finding their way in life, or in school extend an olive branch.  Be who you needed when you were young. By nurturing and guiding our youth, we can cultivate a future generation of empathetic, loving humans.

We have an obligation to leave the world BETTER than how we found it.

Live each day as if it was your last and tell your loved ones how you feel often! Live your best life NOW, in love and in service for the greater good.